Mourning Doves and Marriage

This morning when I went to the front porch with my cup of coffee I was surprised to see only one mourning dove! There are always two at the feeder in the mornings. Of course I immediately thought the worst.  A cat had gotten the female or she'd met the bitter end, face to face with a car windshield.
The poor male sat on the tree limb, singing his mournful song, all alone.

And then it hit me. The female isn't gone. She's sitting on a nest somewhere. She's stuck with the eggs while he's at the bird feeder buffet, hanging with the starlings and the finches. All of my sympathy now transfers to the female who is probably hungry and wishes she could have a break. She's probably sitting in a tree somewhere, watching him hang with his friends and wondering if he'll get sunflower takeout and bring it back to her. He's probably clueless, of course and thinks she's happy to sit on the nest while he 'runs a fowl.' (haha).

Of course her life hasn't ended. She's just waiting for the eggs to hatch, for the babies to grow and take flight. Soon she'll be back at the feeder with her mate. The two of them will sit on the electric line again, singing their rather mournful but beautiful song. They'll watch their little mourning doves fly away to start their own families.


To all of the male mourning doves out there. Just remember that someone is sitting on the nest, making sure the kids hatch, sprout feathers, learn to fly, learn to find food. Take your turn on the nest. Telling her you appreciate all she does is wonderful, but more than that, she needs you there by her side, being a partner. She needs for you to understand that when she says, "No, go on ahead without me, I'm fine here on the nest." What she's really saying is, "I wish you would bring home a few fireflies for dinner and let me take a long soak in the bird bath."

A good marriage is all about communication. Communication includes honest conversation, listening, acknowledging your partner's feelings and action.