I'm ba'ack.

I haven't blogged in a while. I think because nothing really amusing or life changing has happened.

My life is a small world that evolved around my family, church and writing.

My dad being confined to the nursing home has changed my life, though. They haven't given us a clear diagnosis, but the thought is that he has alzeimers. He typically knows me and my kids, but he loses track of time and he really believes he works at the nursing home. There are days that he even points out his boss, and tells me about the work they've done on the outside of teh building. On other days he believes he's in jail.

Maybe our experience with this dreadful disease is something to share, because there is such a fear associated with it. What I've seen is that so many of these dear people are just looking for someone to talk to, someone to connect with. My dad is still communicating, still aware, still Grandpa. We sit outside, he smokes and teases the kids. He likes to go fishing, even if he doesn't catch anything. He can still play his banjo. He still remembers the words to the song, "I won't go hunting with you Jake, but I'll go chasing women."

Some of the residents appear to be in their own world, but if you stop and talk, they are still in our world, too. They're just looking for someone to step into their world with them. All too often, though, they seem to be forgotten. Few people visit. Fewer people stop to talk to them. They connect with the staff, the people who see them every day.

So maybe the greatest tragedy of alzheimers is that these dear souls are stuck in a locked ward with each other, the staff, and one sweet little dog for company. They ask if their families are going to visit. They ask when they'll get to leave. They sleep or walk the halls because they have nothing better to do. This is what their lives have become, but photographs hang on the walls outside their rooms, to remind them who they were. They were mothers, fathers, soldiers, teachers, nurses, police officers. And now they are forgotten.

The other day one of the ladies walked up and asked if she had my permission. I gave it, not knowing what she really wanted, just that she wanted permission. She took hold of my hand and stood next to me in the hall, smiling, holding my hand. She wanted permission to share a moment. After a few minutes she smiled and said, "That was very nice, thank you. I have to go home now and get some sleep. I never know when they're going to call me into work."

In her mind she has retained who she was, who she still wants to be. And what she, and all of the residents want, is someone with whom they can share those moments of remembering.

dieting

I'm going to the RWA Conference in July. That gives me two months to lose weight. I've lost things before. I've lost keys. I've lost the checkbook. I've lost my purse. I've even lost my mind on occasion. So, why is losing weight so hard? Seriously, why couldn't I accidentally lose it at the store, or leave it at someone's house?

Ten pounds. It sounds so easy. Don't buy Reese's. Forget the cheesecake. Yes, there are four slices left, but eating them all in one day is not the key to losing weight. THAT is my problem. I feel like if I eat all of the junk food in one day, it won't be there tomorrow and so tomorrow I can lost weight without the temptation.

The 'eat it all in one day' diet plan doesn't work. Obviously not, no one is writing a book about it. The Atkins Diet. The South Beach Diet. The "EAT IT ALL IN ONE DAY GUIDE TO LOSING WEIGHT." That one isn't exactly on the bestseller list.

Accountability partners...also not working. My accountability partner is calling me from the grocery store, talking about chocolate.

Oh, and the reward system. Eat a frozen dinner with 300 calories, eat ice cream with 500 calories.

And the positive + a negative diet, although it makes me feel good, isn't shedding pounds. That diet works like this: In school we learn that positive 5 and negative 5 equals ZERO. So my thought is that a negative (diet coke) and positive (Reese's) equals zero calories.
NO?

Exercise? That doesn't work either. I exercise for 30 minutes and then feel as if I've earned the right to, you guessed it, eat a Reese's.

Anyone hungry?

a day in the life

What do I have to do today. Finish information on cover art for March 2010 book. Work on edits. Next book is due in July. Vacation Bible School in June. If I was a man, I'd be overwhelmed, but i have the wonderful ability to look at what needs to be done, including cleaning house and doing laundry, and convince myself I have six months. So let's drink more coffee.

I always have time to mess with my kids. Kid 2 is the easiest to mess with, which is why that kid is the subject of more posts. My husband says that kid 2 "is going to need a good job to pay for the counseling."

His new obsession, dryer lint. Why? Because he's doing his own laundry now and I clued him into the fact that you have to clean out the lent trap each time you do a load. "Why?" Kid Monk asked.
"Well, because lint is flammable."
"FLAMMABLE!"
Yeah, well, I mean, it isn't going to just catch on fire, but it does have to be cleaned out from time to time.
This is better than the elves that made shoes. My lint trap is getting cleaned in the middle of the night while I sleep!!

I should tell him that dishes left on the counter and clothes left on the floor are prone to spontaneous combustion!

SICK KIDS SHOULD SLEEP

I'm at home with my middle kid...who claimed he was too sick to go to church. And I'll give him this, he did have a fever last night and this morning. Unfortunately now he's feeling much better. He's playing XBox and he wants money for points. I think I've spent enough on him in the last month, and he's the most expensive kid I have. He says that is because he's awesome.

I hope someday he'll get over his self-esteem issues. (JK)

The biggest problem with kid 2 being home: NON STOP TALKING. and now he's singing..
and it isn't good singing. I think it's something like, 'blame it on the ahahahaha, blame it on..agh.'
The dog howling at the alarm clock isn't as annoying as this kid's singing. It's a good thing he's smart, because the whole singing thing is not going to work out for him.

And that takes me back to...isn't he supposed to be sick? Because if he was truly sick, not that I want that for him, but if he was, he'd be quiet. He'd take benadryl and sleep. I'd be sympathetic and bring him water, or crackers.

But when he sings, sympathy is out the window.