Alien Abduction Day

I was so bummed when I realized that I missed Alien Abduction Day. Yes, March 20th was not only the first day of spring, it was also Alien Abduction day.

I didn't get the tree put up or the lights hung! I didn't buy gifts.
But since it has already come and gone, I guess we'll just shoot for abduction next year.
After all, I wasn't really ready to travel.

I have a list of reasons why this wouldn't have been a good time for a trip (in case you're an alien and you're reading this).

First of all, I didn't have a thing to take with me. What kind of clothes does a girl need in space. Is the weather warm or cold? Flip flops or hiking boots? Both?

Second language barriers. I would at least like to brush up on my alienese.

I don't have a passport.

I like to vacation where there's a beach.

Last, but not least: I really do not like things stuck up my nose, in my ears or placed beneath my skin. You never know what kind of harmful effects you'll suffer later in life. I'd hate to see a class action lawsuit brought against aliens because they didn't know that their micro chips might someday cause burning skin, dry mouth, bladder control issues or insomnia.

All in all, it was a good day NOT to get abducted by aliens.