First, I want to say, my kids are fine. They're healthy and we've had no wire hanger moments this week.
Second.
Stephanie Newton's blog and her thermometer with the warm spring temps. Once i can get the chains on my tires, I'll be down to talk to you about that little salt in the wound moment.
Third.
i'm procrastinating.
Why? Because I really like sitting and doing nothing. That sounds a lot like being lazy, but I'm PROCRASTINATING! It's a big word and means 'putting stuff off until later.' Uh, yeah, much better than calling myself lazy.
I'm a PROCRASTINATOR.
It sounds like something important, like a gift, or a special skill.
And while I procrastinate, I am thinking about Cowboy book number 5, which is in the works.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
WIRE HANGER MOMENTS
I would love to pretend I'm the perfect mom who never loses it, is never responsible, in the least, for the counseling her children will need in twenty years. The truth is, we all have WIRE HANGER moments.
NO, I don't mean we beat our kids with wire hangers. What I mean is, we all have that moment when we're pushed too far. We lose it. Our normally kind, patient, mommyself is lost to BAD MOM WHO HAS PMS, RUN FOR COVER....
It starts with: "Mom, come here, I need..MOM, where are you, Mom, I said.." or "Mom, he won't let me..."
Remember the scene in MOMMY DEAREST when Joan Crawford goes into the kid's room in the middle of the night and she finds....WIRE HANGERS.
OH NO, not wire hangers.
She loses it and yells, NO WIRE HANGERS. I don't think I enjoyed that line as much until I saw it again in Diary of a Mad Black Woman. Tyler Perry is a genius. Oh, sorry, sidetracked.
The point is, it wasn't the wire hangers that made Joan lose it. She'd already lost it at that point. The wire hangers were the 'last straw.'
My children sometimes push me to 'wire hanger' moments.
If someone tries to convince you they never have wire hanger moments, well, I don't know what to tell you. I can only tell you this, I'm a good mom, a good Christian, and I have wire hanger moments. That's reality and I think that we should be honest with one another. If we hide behind a mask of perfection, saying that we're perfect, our children are perfect, our marriages are perfect, then some young mother out there is having wire hanger moments alone and worrying that there's something wrong with her, that she's the only one losing it from time to time.
Oh, look, one of my little offspring has sneaked out of her hiding place with a note to tell me she loves me.
NO WIRE HANGERS!!!
NO, I don't mean we beat our kids with wire hangers. What I mean is, we all have that moment when we're pushed too far. We lose it. Our normally kind, patient, mommyself is lost to BAD MOM WHO HAS PMS, RUN FOR COVER....
It starts with: "Mom, come here, I need..MOM, where are you, Mom, I said.." or "Mom, he won't let me..."
Remember the scene in MOMMY DEAREST when Joan Crawford goes into the kid's room in the middle of the night and she finds....WIRE HANGERS.
OH NO, not wire hangers.
She loses it and yells, NO WIRE HANGERS. I don't think I enjoyed that line as much until I saw it again in Diary of a Mad Black Woman. Tyler Perry is a genius. Oh, sorry, sidetracked.
The point is, it wasn't the wire hangers that made Joan lose it. She'd already lost it at that point. The wire hangers were the 'last straw.'
My children sometimes push me to 'wire hanger' moments.
If someone tries to convince you they never have wire hanger moments, well, I don't know what to tell you. I can only tell you this, I'm a good mom, a good Christian, and I have wire hanger moments. That's reality and I think that we should be honest with one another. If we hide behind a mask of perfection, saying that we're perfect, our children are perfect, our marriages are perfect, then some young mother out there is having wire hanger moments alone and worrying that there's something wrong with her, that she's the only one losing it from time to time.
Oh, look, one of my little offspring has sneaked out of her hiding place with a note to tell me she loves me.
NO WIRE HANGERS!!!
Friday, March 13, 2009
STOP THE INSANITY
I moved three weeks ago and since I've moved, I've heard the same question every day, "Are you unpacked yet?"
For the record, the answer is NO. Every room of my house is full of boxes. The kitchen is the only room that I've unpacked, and it's a mess. The good thing is, I can use the excuse of, 'just moving in' for that mess.
Why haven't I unpacked.
Reason ONE: Procrastination.
Reason TWO: Children.
REASON THREE: LIFE.
procrastination. The obvious is that I love coffee and I'd rather drink coffee with my back to the mess than face it and unpack.
Children. Here's an example of a typical day: Kid 1 goes to work, has to be picked up seven hours later. Dogs have to be walked at least 4 times during the day. Dishes need to be done, laundry has to be washed. Drive fifteen miles, pick up Kid 1. Drive back. Kid 3 has to be picked up from tutoring. Kid 2 has to be picked up from practice. Off to ballet, go to the grocery store. "Mom, I don't have clean socks." Buy new socks. "Mom, what's for dinner." Order pizza. "Honey, I need deoderant." Go to the store, buy more socks, buy deoderant.
Go home, do laundry, clean kitchen, take dogs out again.
OH, wow, I have a deadline. This book has to be finished in a week.
zzzzzzzzzzzz
the end.
And no, I haven't finished unpacking. As long as I haven't unpacked, I have a reason for the house looking like this. And I'm not going to show you a picture.
For the record, the answer is NO. Every room of my house is full of boxes. The kitchen is the only room that I've unpacked, and it's a mess. The good thing is, I can use the excuse of, 'just moving in' for that mess.
Why haven't I unpacked.
Reason ONE: Procrastination.
Reason TWO: Children.
REASON THREE: LIFE.
procrastination. The obvious is that I love coffee and I'd rather drink coffee with my back to the mess than face it and unpack.
Children. Here's an example of a typical day: Kid 1 goes to work, has to be picked up seven hours later. Dogs have to be walked at least 4 times during the day. Dishes need to be done, laundry has to be washed. Drive fifteen miles, pick up Kid 1. Drive back. Kid 3 has to be picked up from tutoring. Kid 2 has to be picked up from practice. Off to ballet, go to the grocery store. "Mom, I don't have clean socks." Buy new socks. "Mom, what's for dinner." Order pizza. "Honey, I need deoderant." Go to the store, buy more socks, buy deoderant.
Go home, do laundry, clean kitchen, take dogs out again.
OH, wow, I have a deadline. This book has to be finished in a week.
zzzzzzzzzzzz
the end.
And no, I haven't finished unpacking. As long as I haven't unpacked, I have a reason for the house looking like this. And I'm not going to show you a picture.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
MY LIFE
A few weeks ago someone made this comment to me, "Oh, wow, you're an author, I had no idea." She said that I'm down-to-earth. I love her for thinking that being an writer is something maybe a little glam. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade it. I love it. And I always thought it would be a little glam. (for more info on that, go to my website: www.brendaminton.net)
But her comment has me wondering. What do people think of authors. I mean, look at my picture, I'm no Angelina. And my husband and I never, ever get called Brendoug. Or how about, Donda (pronounced DUHNDA).
Broug?
Breg?
No matter how you connect those names, it isn't cute. We're not Brangelina, or TomKat, or even StrayCat.
My only paparazzi is my sister. Once I did try to run over her foot. Twice I've knocked the camera out of her hand. She gave me a black eye that time. (kidding sis)
Every single picture of me could go into one of those issues of, "See how bad they look without their makeup.' or, 'What was she thinking when she wore those sweatpants...
two days in a row.'
Today it is worse. I've had a cold. My nose is red. Stuff in the fridge is green. Something in the kitchen is starting to smell.
And to top it off, earlier this afternoon my daughter yelled, "Mom, the cat has something in here and he's trying to bury it in the floor."
Do you think Maddox has ever yelled that at Brangelina?
Or what about; "Mom, do I have to wear these socks again?"
I'm not sure if anyone is out there, other than my one friend :-) But if you'd like to talk writing, ask questions, or call me names, now is your chance.
But her comment has me wondering. What do people think of authors. I mean, look at my picture, I'm no Angelina. And my husband and I never, ever get called Brendoug. Or how about, Donda (pronounced DUHNDA).
Broug?
Breg?
No matter how you connect those names, it isn't cute. We're not Brangelina, or TomKat, or even StrayCat.
My only paparazzi is my sister. Once I did try to run over her foot. Twice I've knocked the camera out of her hand. She gave me a black eye that time. (kidding sis)
Every single picture of me could go into one of those issues of, "See how bad they look without their makeup.' or, 'What was she thinking when she wore those sweatpants...
two days in a row.'
Today it is worse. I've had a cold. My nose is red. Stuff in the fridge is green. Something in the kitchen is starting to smell.
And to top it off, earlier this afternoon my daughter yelled, "Mom, the cat has something in here and he's trying to bury it in the floor."
Do you think Maddox has ever yelled that at Brangelina?
Or what about; "Mom, do I have to wear these socks again?"
I'm not sure if anyone is out there, other than my one friend :-) But if you'd like to talk writing, ask questions, or call me names, now is your chance.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
MIA: Smart, Witty and CREATIVE
I'm not missing in action, just moving and writing. It is true, when it rains, it pours. I'm trying to finish a book, a novella, and move. All at the same time. So, 'witty and smart' are MIA.
On the UP SIDE, American Idol, still entertaining. Three people of the twelve who sang are going to make the final twelve. I, of course, am a Danny Gokey fan. I also like the little girl with pink hair. I won't try to remember her name because I can't.
Remember, I'm moving: witty and smart are MIA, and I have so much writing to do, creativity is MIA with them. Or maybe Creative took Smart and Witty and led them away with the promise of cookies and coffee?
My kids haven't even been cute, smart or witty lately. To be honest they've been kind of a pain. I know, no one else has experienced those moments when you really do want to stand them on the street corner with some kind of sign tied to their necks. I haven't done it yet, but I think if I ever want to be a Fox News Alert, I might try it. How about a sign like, "My mom says I have to stop fighting with my sister. OH, and check out her new release, A COWBOY'S HEART."
Why didn't I think of that earlier?
Oh wait, kid one was incredibly witty...never mind, I can't repeat that.
Here's one I can repeat.
At work one of the girls told him that he's cute. He's a short kid, just over five feet. She told him, "You're so cute, I want to take you home with me. Oh wow, you're travel sized. I could take you anywhere."
Don't worry, he loved it. He has a great attitude about life. He's short, but he's also alive. He'll take short.
I think there's a lesson in that: about life, faith and accepting our circumstances.
THE END.
On the UP SIDE, American Idol, still entertaining. Three people of the twelve who sang are going to make the final twelve. I, of course, am a Danny Gokey fan. I also like the little girl with pink hair. I won't try to remember her name because I can't.
Remember, I'm moving: witty and smart are MIA, and I have so much writing to do, creativity is MIA with them. Or maybe Creative took Smart and Witty and led them away with the promise of cookies and coffee?
My kids haven't even been cute, smart or witty lately. To be honest they've been kind of a pain. I know, no one else has experienced those moments when you really do want to stand them on the street corner with some kind of sign tied to their necks. I haven't done it yet, but I think if I ever want to be a Fox News Alert, I might try it. How about a sign like, "My mom says I have to stop fighting with my sister. OH, and check out her new release, A COWBOY'S HEART."
Why didn't I think of that earlier?
Oh wait, kid one was incredibly witty...never mind, I can't repeat that.
Here's one I can repeat.
At work one of the girls told him that he's cute. He's a short kid, just over five feet. She told him, "You're so cute, I want to take you home with me. Oh wow, you're travel sized. I could take you anywhere."
Don't worry, he loved it. He has a great attitude about life. He's short, but he's also alive. He'll take short.
I think there's a lesson in that: about life, faith and accepting our circumstances.
THE END.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
American Idol, How sweet the sound?
No Balmy Florida here. Or coffee. And a certain someone seems to want to rub it in that it got down to a freezing sixty degrees in Florida today.
I'm not holding grudges, but she also has coffee, and I'm out. That might be the last straw.
But on to brighter subjects. American Idol is back, with Simon's sharp wit still with us, dashing the hopes of talentless children all across the country. I love that man.
And kudos to all of the loving moms out there who keep telling their children they are the future rock idols of the world, while oblivious to the reality that their children can't sing. Thanks to you, moms, grandmas, aunts, uncles and best friends, we are entertained for hours each week as some poor dear child gets her self-esteem cut down by Simon's English wit.
This really isn't funny, it's actually very sad. We want to encourage our children, tell them they are the best at everything, want them to succeed in every direction they turn. Reality TV has brought us to this place in our lives where we believe that every child can be a superstar with little or no work on their part. Sometimes with no talent. And in the end...Simon calls MOM onto the stage to ask her why she encouraged her child to sing.
DON'T LET THAT BE YOU!
It is time to be honest with our children. "HONEY, I love you, you're a genius at math, but YOU ARE TONE DEAF so please stop singing. Can't you see that the cat has lost all her hair?"
The words sound harsh, but do you really want to be the parent watching this episode of American Idol on TV as your child screeches a song to the idle judges, realizing with a sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach that your child can't sing and now the whole world knows?
Worse yet, singing in a superhero costume.
Let's put the word 'no' back in our vocabularies. Our kids deserve it.
I'm not holding grudges, but she also has coffee, and I'm out. That might be the last straw.
But on to brighter subjects. American Idol is back, with Simon's sharp wit still with us, dashing the hopes of talentless children all across the country. I love that man.
And kudos to all of the loving moms out there who keep telling their children they are the future rock idols of the world, while oblivious to the reality that their children can't sing. Thanks to you, moms, grandmas, aunts, uncles and best friends, we are entertained for hours each week as some poor dear child gets her self-esteem cut down by Simon's English wit.
This really isn't funny, it's actually very sad. We want to encourage our children, tell them they are the best at everything, want them to succeed in every direction they turn. Reality TV has brought us to this place in our lives where we believe that every child can be a superstar with little or no work on their part. Sometimes with no talent. And in the end...Simon calls MOM onto the stage to ask her why she encouraged her child to sing.
DON'T LET THAT BE YOU!
It is time to be honest with our children. "HONEY, I love you, you're a genius at math, but YOU ARE TONE DEAF so please stop singing. Can't you see that the cat has lost all her hair?"
The words sound harsh, but do you really want to be the parent watching this episode of American Idol on TV as your child screeches a song to the idle judges, realizing with a sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach that your child can't sing and now the whole world knows?
Worse yet, singing in a superhero costume.
Let's put the word 'no' back in our vocabularies. Our kids deserve it.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
girls, girls, girls
PACK
a. A group of animals, such as dogs or wolves, that run and hunt together.
They forgot to add girls to this definition. I took my daughter and 7 other little girls to a waterpark for her birthday. And it was fun.
If you define fun as: totally exhausting, please yank all of my teeth without novocain, and hit my little toe with a hammer.
Girls are great. We all want one. We dream of how we'll dress her in bows, cute clothes, and maybe we'll do our nails together as she gets older.
And then we get one. We learn that they have meltdowns at the drop of a hat and they have 'a look that can kill' figured out before their second birthday.They are so much more than cute clothes, manicures and hair. They're complex little creatures, miniatures of us. That fact is both enlightening, and frightening.
Girls can be the sweetest people, helping the younger girls, tending to a friend who is sad, and then...
something strange happens.
I'm sorry, maybe this is too much reality for a Saturday night, but really, we have to get it out in the open, we have to face the truth, frightening as it might be: girls grow fangs and their claws come out.
Someone talked to someone else's BFF...and war is declared.
We came home with the same number of girls we left with. I tribute that to God and small miracles.
a. A group of animals, such as dogs or wolves, that run and hunt together.
They forgot to add girls to this definition. I took my daughter and 7 other little girls to a waterpark for her birthday. And it was fun.
If you define fun as: totally exhausting, please yank all of my teeth without novocain, and hit my little toe with a hammer.
Girls are great. We all want one. We dream of how we'll dress her in bows, cute clothes, and maybe we'll do our nails together as she gets older.
And then we get one. We learn that they have meltdowns at the drop of a hat and they have 'a look that can kill' figured out before their second birthday.They are so much more than cute clothes, manicures and hair. They're complex little creatures, miniatures of us. That fact is both enlightening, and frightening.
Girls can be the sweetest people, helping the younger girls, tending to a friend who is sad, and then...
something strange happens.
I'm sorry, maybe this is too much reality for a Saturday night, but really, we have to get it out in the open, we have to face the truth, frightening as it might be: girls grow fangs and their claws come out.
Someone talked to someone else's BFF...and war is declared.
We came home with the same number of girls we left with. I tribute that to God and small miracles.
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